


Capture the Dream

by taykash



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Ice Skating, Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 02:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1452349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taykash/pseuds/taykash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsumoto Jun, Sakurai Sho, Ninomiya Kazunari, Ohno Satoshi, Aiba Masaki. The most beloved male ice skaters in Japan, off and on the ice. But when one of them goes down, what happens to their bond?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Capture the Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I started this in January 2013, and have worked on it off and on for a year. I didn't expect it to become a monster, but there it is, 11k words about Arashi as gay ice skaters. This is also [on LJ.](http://taykash.livejournal.com/13132.html)  
> Thanks to [Prim](http://archiveofourown.org/users/primroseshows), [Raine](http://archiveofourown.org/users/toinkydoink/), and Inez for their support, and also everyone else I bothered about this, which is probably half the world.  
> Important Notes: A) I know there's no such thing as male/male pair skating. I don't care. B) I know you can't compete both as both a pair and solo skater. I don't care. C) I know you don't do more than two programs a year. I don't care. D) I highly enjoy Blades of Glory, Yuzuru Hanyu, and Plushenko. (I think if MatsuJun were actually an ice skater, he would be a lot like Asada Mao.)

At age four as he was flipping through channels to find his nightly episode of Doraemon, Matsumoto Jun caught a men’s figure skating competition on TV. He had stood up immediately, almost popping a button off of his purple onesie as he scrambled up from his spot in the center of the living room. “This,” he announced, pointing a decisive finger at the screen. “I’m going to be the best at this.”

His topics of conversation for the next month, to the displeasure and consternation of his father, were limited to the way the skaters cut lines across the ice and the acrobatic twirls that made them look like they were flying. He made his sister videotape another competition and watched it until he was able to quote the judges’ comments along with the recording.

His mother, after weeks of Jun’s whining and pleading, finally managed to convince his father to enroll him in lessons. Jun chose an ice blue pair of skates.

Now 17, sports commentators and enthusiasts frequently brought him up as someone to watch as a future Olympian medalist. He shared an apartment with four other male figure skaters, including his pair partner, Ohno Satoshi. They worked well together; Jun prided himself on his grace, which was helped along by years of ballet, while Ohno was the definition of sharp accuracy, every movement of his body calculated and controlled. Their routines consistently earned high scores, and the wreaths of congratulations grew larger with every competition.

Their roommates were simultaneously friends and rivals, some of them more than others. 

“It’s your turn to go to the supermarket,” Jun heard when he entered the kitchen one morning, an empty juice carton held up to his face by stubby fingers.

Jun got along well with his roommates. As a group they shared few personality traits in common, but they banded together in support as they walked down the same difficult road to success. They connected through their shared work ethics and their love of the same sport.

But Nino spent the third of his life not skating or gaming on his life-long quest to royally irritate Jun.

“What are you talking about? I went last time, check the rotation schedule,” Jun said as he shoved Nino out of the way. Ninomiya Kazunari, being two and a half months older than Jun, was Jun’s closest rival; they had trained with the same coach from age 7 on. They spent their lives being compared to each other: they performed at the same shows, they competed in the same competitions. If forced to choose between admitting it or losing his entire hat collection, Jun would say that Nino was his best friend – but most of the time he just wanted to sit on Nino until he shut up. 

“Nope, you went, then Sho bought the bag of rice you forgot, and Oh-chan bought fish. Aiba got milk. So it’s your turn.” Nino pointed to the sheet of paper posted next to the fridge. “I want potato chips.”

“Get them yourself! It’s _your_ turn then, isn’t it?” 

“I cleaned the bathroom when you just _had_ to go to that time sale at that boutique you like,” Nino said lazily, drifting away from Jun and towards the living room. “I’m calling in my favor now.”

Jun groaned, shaking his head. “Nope, I’m meeting Aiba-chan at the gym for weight training. You can get your damn chips yourself.”

“Just go after you come back, carrying the bags can be your cool down!” Nino called from the living room, where Jun could see him tossed across their bean bag, Nintendo 3DS already in hand and powered on. “You can make him carry everything for you, I won’t tell.”

Jun picked up his bag and left without bothering to respond.

\-----

Aiba Masaki did mixed pair skating, the only one of the five that did; he worked with Naka Riisa, a bubbly girl whose sense of fashion made Jun’s eyes hurt. It didn’t matter when in the competition they were grouped, Jun always made sure to watch them because the joy and the energy they brought to the ice made Jun grin the moment he thought about them.

It helped that both of them consistently ended up on “Top Ten Hottest Athletes” lists.

“MatsuJun,” Aiba waved when Jun jogged into the gym, “I already started setting things up for us in that corner over there. I’ll be there when you finish putting your stuff away.”

“Okay,” Jun acknowledged before heading towards the locker room. The gym they all used specialized in training professional athletes, so the atmosphere was always very professional. Jun required that in a workout space. Outside of their small group, they were also friendly with the other athletes who frequented their gym. Most of their friends did winter sports, though they also lifted weights with a swimmer named Toma.

Jun preferred the chill of the ice to the cold metal of the gym, but once as a child he didn’t hit a landing because of weak muscles and ended up with a broken arm. He could never be so weak again, not now that he had so much on the line.

The Four Continents Championships were coming up.

They all competed in both pair skating and solo skating, and it made the five of them internationally unique. The rules had changed to allow qualifying in more than one category, but most skaters still chose to follow and perfect only one path. It made their lives that much more difficult with the demands and challenges of two different competition styles, but they all loved the challenge. Their relationships made their whole situation more interesting as they were each other’s greatest rivals during solo competitions, but in their private lives, they were each other’s best friends. The media loved them for it: five handsome men from the same country who competed with _and_ against each other. The tabloids were never far behind them, waiting for a scandalous scoop that would diminish the love their fans had for them.

And their fans loved them a lot. Nino had once showed Jun the fanfiction. They laughed about it awkwardly, their faces red as they skimmed through the sex scenes together, but Aiba later sensibly pointed out that the authors’ sexual fantasies about them didn’t come close to the truth.

Part of the reason Jun especially liked training with Aiba was because, out of the whole group, Aiba was the least around. He was usually off working with Riisa. It was soothing to hear Aiba’s breathy giggles as they joked their way through their repetitions, moreso than Nino’s complaints or Ohno’s silence or Sho’s exaggerated, almost sexual noises.

Plus that meant Jun got to share a shower stall with Aiba, and _that_ was usually the most relaxing part of his week.

They always took turns washing each other’s backs. Aiba had talented hands and he never said no to giving massages, which more often than not ended with him pressing a trail of kisses across Jun’s shoulders until Jun pushed him away. “The hot water’s going to run out,” Jun always muttered, but Aiba just grinned at him knowingly, turning around to let Jun nuzzle the back of his neck as he soaped him up.

They usually ended up pressed together against a shower wall panting into each other’s mouths as the water turned freezing cold. Jun hated the cold water but he tolerated it because of the way Aiba always sweetly laughed an apology as they toweled off. It helped that it was good for his pores; his teenage acne had cleared up some since this routine had begun.

“It’s Sho-chan’s turn to bring dinner, isn’t it?” Aiba said as they walked back to the apartment in companionable silence. 

“Hopefully he’ll get it from that nice Thai place,” Jun mused, switching the grocery bags from his right hand to his left. He’d convinced Aiba to go with him to the supermarket because if he hadn’t, Nino would have whined until he turned to dust.

“Speaking of Thai, I think Riisa-chan and I are going to use a Thai pop song for our next routine.” Aiba slid his hands into his pockets, kicking at pebbles on the street. “Something different for the championships, you know? We were debating between that and the Blue Hearts but we figured we could save the 80s mohawks for the televised shows.”

“That’d be good, I think,” Jun shrugged. “It’s unexpected, but somehow also expected of the two of you.”

“I think the judges always appreciate someone not doing a classical piece for once,” Aiba winked, nudging Jun in the side with an elbow. Jun favored traditionalism and always went with instrumentals.

“Better classical than Nino picking another video game song,” Jun replied with a groan. “The day he actually used the Mario theme song on one of his solos was the day a part of me died.”

“I think they like Oh-chan picking enka,” Aiba tilted his head in thought. “It’s very like him.”

“It’s an excuse to have a pick of songs about the ocean and you know it,” Jun rolled his eyes, letting Aiba go up the stairs towards their apartment first. “I’m not even sure why he’s a skater half the time. He should have been a swimmer.”

“Could you imagine Oh-chan with swimmer arms? It’s hard enough being around Toma in the gym,” Aiba laughed, opening the door wider so Jun could shuffle in with the bags.

“I got Indian for dinner,” Sho called from the living room as soon as they stepped in. “I hope that’s okay.”

“As long as you kept Ohno-kun’s portion far away from the rest of ours,” Jun called back, toeing off his shoes. Aiba had already slid down the hallway on his socks towards the kitchen.

“His is the one that looks like touching it will give you third degree burns,” Sho said, coming out to greet Jun. “It’s easy enough to spot.”

Sho took the bag from Jun and leaned in for a kiss. Ohno worked with Jun on the ice, but more often than not Jun spent his nights in the same bed as Sho.

“I didn’t think it was your turn to go to the store,” Sho said when they broke away. He opened the bag and rifled through the contents.

“It’s not. Nino owes me double.” Jun toed off his shoes and slid his feet into his slippers. He loved his slippers, made of soft supple leather that allowed him to walk around the house without making a sound. When he first bought them, Aiba had stolen them, accessorized with a bathrobe and a snifter of brandy, and had pretended he was royalty until Jun nearly strangled him.

“I owe you nothing, Matsumoto, stop spreading dirty lies about me,” Nino said when they entered the kitchen, his fingers already deftly ripping apart a piece of naan. “Or I’ll tell Toma what you said what you think about his pecs.”

“You can’t do that, I already did,” Aiba reminded him. “Toma said he wouldn’t mind an orgy but that it’d be weird with you, Nino, because you grew up together.”

“Whatever, I’ve seen him naked,” Nino snorted, stealing a samosa from under Ohno’s reaching fingers. “I trump.”

“You wish!” Sho started laughing, dropping the grocery bag on the kitchen counter.

“Can we stop talking about other people’s penis sizes before dinner? The championships are coming up and I’d rather think about that.” Jun opened a container of butter chicken, spooning it into a bowl he grabbed from the drying rack.

“MatsuJun’s already seen Toma naked anyway,” Ohno piped up from where he was shoveling red curry into his mouth. “They did it in the locker rooms.”

“One day we’re all going to test positively for some horrific STD,” Nino grumbled, chewing on a small piece of naan. “The media won’t love us anymore.”

“They’d probably like us _more_ ,” Aiba said, kicking his legs back and forth from where he was sitting on top of the kitchen counter. “Proof that we get up to what they think we already do.”

“For the championships,” Jun raised his voice, “have we all decided what we’re doing?”

They existed as direct rivals, but for the sake of their friendships they gave each other the courtesy of letting each other the style of music they had chosen. With pair skating, it didn’t matter; Nino always wrangled Jun’s choice out of Ohno, and Sho spent weeks obsessively listening to their song over and over until the rest of the apartment wanted to kill him. Since Aiba didn’t compete with them in that category, his decision wasn’t anything other than conversation.

But when it came to their single skating matches, they never laid all of their cards on the table. 

“Enka,” Ohno said with his mouth full, Jun grimacing at the half-eaten goo sitting in his mouth.

“Electro-pop,” Aiba said cheerfully, kicking his heels against the cabinet.

“I haven’t quite decided yet,” Sho replied truthfully, his eyebrows furrowing. “There are two very likely choices, but both of them are R&B.”

“It’s a secret,” Nino announced with a shrug. Secret meant drastic changes from their usual repertoire – and possibly, direct competition with one of the others. 

“Classical for me,” Jun said quickly, watching Nino with a raised eyebrow. “What dirty tricks do you have up your sleeve this time, Ninomiya?”

“You can keep your bushy eyebrows out of it, Jun-kun,” Nino replied pleasantly, “and wait until the championships themselves.”

“Should Riisa-chan wear the gold crown or should I?” Aiba asked musingly.

\-----

As Jun threaded the new laces through the metal grommets on his skates, preparing for practice, his phone impatiently began blinking the bright yellow light marking an urgent text message.

From: Kazu  
3:32 PM, 5/Jan/13  
‘Teito Uni. Hospital. Sho. Come ASAP.’ 

Jun shoved his half-laced skates roughly into his locker and grabbed his coat. It took him ten minutes to run to Teito University Hospital, his coat flapping around him unbuttoned. A teary Aiba greeted him the moment he stepped into the ER waiting room.

“Nino’s talking to one of the nurses, I think,” Aiba explained when he spotted Jun. “Oh-chan’s still on his way.”

Jun grabbed hold of Aiba’s forearms, trying not to grip too tightly but hard enough to stop his hands from shaking visibly. “And? What’s going on?”

“He fell out of a jump wrong,” Aiba whispered, leaning closer to Jun. “He landed on his hip and Nino says he started screaming and wouldn’t stop.”

Sho whined and complained about working out and rehearsing all the time, but in reality he worked harder than anyone else Jun knew. If he fell, he would curse before laughing it off and getting back to work. For Sho to not get up was a sign that something went seriously wrong.

“Where is he now? What’s going on?” Jun let go of Aiba so Aiba could hug him properly.

“He’s being examined, but I don’t know by who or for what. Nino should be back soon.” Aiba buried his face in Jun’s shoulder, sniffling. “What if he can’t go to FourCon?”

“It’s fine,” Jun said, but even to his own ears his words sounded empty. “He’s fine.”

“You made good time, Jun-kun,” Nino came in just then, and Jun could see the tiredness in his eyes. “Oh-chan’s coming. He was at the toy store across town so it’s taking him a little while to get here.”

“How’s Sho-chan?” Aiba asked into Jun’s shoulder, peeking up a little at Nino with watery eyes.

“Getting an MRI,” Nino confirmed, running his hands through his hair. “There’s definitely something wrong with his hip, but they don’t know what. With the amount of pain he’s in, it might be an existing injury he aggravated, like a ripped tendon or something. It’s not broken, at least.” Nino sagged into the nearest chair, slumping down so his hips were off the seat.

Jun sat down next to Nino, pulling Aiba into the seat next to his so that Jun could take Nino’s hand. “You all right, Kazu?” Jun murmured. They had been lucky so far – they’d all sustained sprains or broken bones, but nothing serious enough to keep them off the ice for more than a few weeks. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Nino straightened himself up to curl into the chair, resting his head on Jun’s shoulder as he played with Jun’s hand. “Sho-chan really scared me, though. With the way he was screaming, I expected blood or something. What a cop-out!”

Jun laughed a little, breaking some of the nervous tension in the room. “I’ll tell him to lacerate something next time, then.”

“Did you tell his coach yet?” Aiba asked, peeking at Nino from behind Jun. They each had their solo coaches, and then choreographers that they worked with for their team routines.

“I figured we’d tell him when we know more of what’s going on,” Nino sighed, nuzzling Jun’s shoulder with his cheek so his hair rubbed against Jun’s jaw. “There’s no point of making him panic if Sho-chan’s gonna be on the ice tomorrow.”

“Do you think he will be?” Aiba sat up, pulling his long legs up onto the seat and hugging his knees to his chest.

“No,” Nino replied.

\-----

“No FourCon,” Sho greeted them when a nurse brought him into the waiting room on a wheelchair. “No FourCon, no Worlds, no nothing.”

“You look like hell,” Jun replied helpfully as Aiba rushed to give Sho a loose hug. Sho drew his face together in pain, though his eyes were cloudy with the effects of painkiller. Even sitting and wearing his oversized rehearsal sweats, he was noticeably leaning his weight on his left side. 

“I need surgery,” he said miserably, rubbing his eyes. “I have a really bad labral tear in my right hip. The doctor said the fall was what tore it completely but it was already developing anyway.”

Jun felt an ache shoot through his own stomach at the expression on Sho’s face when he looked at Nino and said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like you fell simply to ruin my career,” Nino pointed out, “and I can still compete without you.”

Ohno, who had arrived not ten minutes ago with an RC car remote poking out of his pocket, leaned over and took Sho’s hand. Jun pretended not to notice Sho gripping back so tightly his knuckles turned white. 

“Sho-chan gets to pick what he wants for dinner,” Aiba announced, having let go of Sho but keeping one hand on his shoulder. “He’s had a long day.”

“It’s okay,” Sho sighed, “go with whatever the plan was for tonight.” 

“Well, it’s my turn to pick,” Aiba said decisively, “and Sho-chan likes fried chicken. So we’re going to have fried chicken and biscuits and we can pretend it’s Christmas and plug in the tree.”

“You just want to celebrate your birthday all over again,” Nino accused, pulling on his coat. 

“Oh-chan was at his parents’ house,” Aiba complained, taking the crutches another nurse had brought over for Sho. “We might as well redo it.”

“My mom made shabu-shabu,” Ohno explained peacefully, still holding Sho’s hand as the nurse wheeled him to the entrance. “Sorry, Aiba-chan.”

“It’s okay,” Aiba said with a smile, “I’ll go and get dinner and I’ll meet you guys at home. Sho-chan, you should take a nice bath first so you can be relaxed for dinner, okay?” He handed the crutches to Jun, then patted Sho’s shoulder. “See you in a few.”

They watched him jog away from the entrance to the hospital before they helped Sho onto his crutches.

Sho, never one to burden people, pushed away their helping hands as he struggled his way down the street. Jun walked a little behind the others, watching Sho. Sho’s whisper-quiet grunts of pain and frustration laced their way towards Jun and repeated, echoing, through his thoughts as they slowly made their way to the curb to flag down a taxi.

\-----

Sho stayed in his room the next few days, eating only when someone brought him food. Whenever Jun went to see him, he kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling and answered questions in grunts. The only person he spoke actual words to was his coach.

The rest of them still had to spend most of their time on the ice and in the gym, but Jun noticed that they were all moving more carefully now. They warmed up and cooled down for longer periods of time, and Jun had seen Aiba help Nino stretch, for once without a constant stream of sexual jokes accompanying the work out.

“We need to call a family meeting,” Jun said to Nino a week after Sho’s accident, his tone irritated, when they were washing dishes together. “We need to get Sho-kun out of bed. Being alone is just depressing him more.”

“Good luck getting the Human Rock to move,” Nino snorted, drying their drinking glasses from dinner. “He’ll get out of bed eventually, he just needs some more time.” 

“He’s been out of his room maybe thirty minutes since he came home from the hospital. He’s going to rot in that bed if we don’t get him out of there. He’s only eating because he can’t bring himself to starve.” Jun shook his head, handing Nino a clean plate. “I’m sure if Aiba-chan looks at him the right way we can get him to come out.”

“You’re the one who sleeps with him most, just shake your dick at him and he’ll crawl out towards you,” Nino rolled his eyes. “I don’t think he’ll appreciate this intervention.”

“Interventions aren’t usually appreciated when they’re happening,” Jun said. “But they’re worth it.”

\-----

“Sho-chan?” Aiba said quietly, knocking on the door before opening it. Sho was sitting up with a book in his hands, but he had been looking out the window when Aiba entered. “Sho-chan, we’re all coming in.”

“This was J’s idea,” Nino pointed out as he shuffled in with the rest of the group, going to lean against the window. Aiba sat on the bed near Sho’s injured hip, while Jun stood at his bedside. Ohno took his time taking his place by Nino.

“Thanks, Nino,” Jun shot at him with his eyes narrowed before turning to face Sho. “Look. You’re injured and you can’t compete. It really, really sucks. But your life isn’t over, and the longer you stay in that bed the longer it’s going to take for you to come back to the ice.”

“It’s true, Sho-chan,” Aiba chimed in. “All your muscles are going to wither away and you’re going to look like a husk of corn and we’ll have to hand-feed you.”

Jun sighed, rolling his eyes. “Anyway. It’s not the same without you.”

“What do you know,” Sho said lowly, his voice hoarse from misuse. “You’ve never been out of commission for months. The most you’ve ever gotten was a dislocated knee. Don’t tell me how I’m supposed to deal with this.”

“We’re not telling you how to do anything,” Nino pointed out. “You can stay here and rot if you want. But we want you to come out of here. You don’t have to go on the ice or anything, but at least eat dinner or watch TV with us. It definitely smells in here like you haven’t left.”

“I’m going home,” Sho finally said.

“You are home,” Aiba said, confused. He picked at Sho’s quilt, playing with a loose thread.

“No. I mean I’m going back to Gunma.” Sho looked at each of them in turn, his expression serious. “I’m useless here.”

“What the hell are you going to be doing in Gunma?” Jun asked, exasperatedly. His eyebrows knitted together and he pursed his lips. “Your coach is here, Sho-kun. Both of them. Your doctors are here. All that’s in Gunma are your grandparents and snow.”

Neither of Sho’s parents had ever expected for him to make skating a career; his grandmother had started him on lessons when he was a child, and every time his parents attempted to make him quit, he threw a massive fit that forced them to relent. He had been expected to go into a lucrative career of business or politics – instead, he had disappointed them by being an athlete. His grandparents had been his biggest supporters his entire life. 

“Are you guys going to take care of me after my surgery?” Sho shot back, angry. He had dropped his book on the bed face-down, and Aiba silently picked it up and began smoothing down the crumpled pages. “Are you going to be here twenty-four seven to get me everything I need? You’re not, and you know why? Because the four of you still have training and rehearsal every single day until the competition. I don’t. This isn’t my place anymore, and you don’t know how I feel or what I want.”

“I’d take care of you, Sho-chan,” Aiba said quietly as he closed the book and set it down on the bedside table. “It’s okay if I don’t place that high if it’s because I’m taking care of you.”

“The fact that you’re willing to sacrifice everything that you and Riisa-chan have worked for just for me means you don’t want it enough,” Sho said flatly. “And if that’s true, you should tell her to find a new partner.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Nino said with a roll of his eyes. “If you think Gunma would be a better place for you to recover, fine, but don’t you for a _second_ think we wouldn’t take care of you.”

“Whatever, Nino,” Sho scoffed. “I ruined one of your chances for a medal.”

“Is that what you think you are to us?” Jun said, his volume rising. “Nothing but a stepstool to success? Do you think that Nino hasn’t been talking to your coaches for days now about what kind of routines they should do when you come back? Do you think that Aiba-chan hasn’t been researching recovery plans for you? And Ohno-kun – ”

“It’s okay, MatsuJun,” Ohno interrupted. His voice was warm and soft, and Jun fell silent. “If Sho-chan needs time away from us, then that’s okay. He can come back when he needs to come back.”

Everyone watched Ohno as he moved away from where was leaning against the windowsill to pat Sho’s hand. “Your room is here. If you need us to help you pack for Gunma, just tell us. We’ll be waiting for you to come home.”

Sho stayed quiet, his throat working, as Ohno gestured for the others to follow him out of the room.

\-----

Sho left a few days later, picked up by his parents. His mother packed a single bag for him when they arrived, and Nino watched Sho limp down the driveway supported by his crutches through the living room window.

“Watch him pick up an economics degree while he’s gone and decide to stop skating forever,” Nino said, with disgust in his voice.

“That would be okay, I think,” Aiba said sadly, his knees pulled up to his chest. “I would be okay with economics Sho-chan as long as he was back in this house with us.”

“Me too,” Nino whispered, so quietly Aiba couldn’t hear him, as he flicked closed the curtain to hide the scene of Sho getting into the car and finally driving away.

\-----

FourCon was getting closer, with only a few weeks to spare, and the four of them threw themselves into their training. When competitions came this close, the only time they really saw anyone other than their partners or coaches was either coincidentally at the gym or if they snuck into each other’s beds at night.

“MatsuJun,” Aiba stage-whispered as he tip-toed into Jun’s room. “MatsuJun, I’m sleeping here tonight. Nino kicked me out because he wanted to sleep with Oh-chan, and my room is lonely.”

Jun couldn’t find it in himself to argue, and simply lifted up the covers to allow Aiba in. Aiba was wearing flannel pajama pants but only a tank top, and he shivered as he pressed his upper body to Jun’s. 

“Do you think Sho-chan is going to come back soon?” Aiba’s voice was muffled by where he was kissing Jun’s shoulder. Jun sighed softly, enjoying the feel of Aiba’s soft lips pressed against his tired muscles.

“He’d be an idiot not to,” Jun replied, before turning over to face Aiba. Aiba was taller than Jun, but in darkness punctuated only by the weak moonlight streaming in from the window halfway across the room, he looked small and scared.

“I thought it’d be the five of us together forever,” Aiba mumbled, and Jun knew him well enough to hear the tears in his voice.

“It is,” Jun said, and he sounded more confident than he felt. “He’ll be back.”

\-----

The day of FourCon was bright and sunny, with a chill in the air that Jun rather liked. When he had free days he enjoyed taking walks in this weather through the park or the woods of Mt. Takao if he could, preferably with someone else with whom he could hold hands before stopping to share some hot chocolate on their way back home.

Instead, it was still so early it was dark out, and they were all packing a van with their stuff.

“It’s so roomy without Sho-kun’s things,” Nino remarked, shoving his skate bag into the back before heading towards the side door. “Usually it’s like Tetris, only with whining from J about how we’re going to wrinkle his leotard.”

“You can’t wrinkle Spandex,” Jun said crabbily, “but you throw your things in there like you’re the only one who has stuff, Nino.”

“Shh, MatsuJun,” Aiba said soothingly, putting a hand on his arm and leading him inside the van. “Sit down and you can go back to sleep. Look, your coach even brought a blanket for us!” 

Jun glared at him, but settled down on one of the long seats anyway, allowing Aiba to snuggle next to him for warmth. Ohno’s coach hadn’t started the van yet before Aiba had already gone to sleep.

“It’s strange not having Sho-kun in here doing his weird stretches,” Ohno said quietly to Nino as he adjusted himself in his seat, getting ready to nap.

“He’ll be up and skating by Worlds, you’ll see,” Nino said with a snort. “Something like a little hip tear isn’t going to keep him down.”

\-----

The major competitions were still difficult for them. Only recently had skating rules relaxed to allow competitors to do both single and pair skating, and most competitions hadn’t yet figured out a proper system that accommodated those competitors. It forced them to rush from one rink to the other to keep up with what was going on. Multiple costume changes and different routines were one thing to deal with; the embarrassment of being late or missing your turn entirely because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time might as well be grounds for early retirement.

“Hi, you guys,” Riisa chirped when she entered their shared dressing room. Nino was nowhere to be found, but Jun and Ohno were both in there, getting jewels glued to their faces by their coaches. Riisa was wearing peacock-feather eyelashes and a teal leotard that looked like it weighed as much as she did thanks to the large number of blue and green Swarvoski crystals sewn onto it.

“There you are,” Aiba said, shutting the bathroom door behind him as he exited. “You were supposed to help me with my costume ten minutes ago!”

“Whatever, you’re always in the bathroom when I show up anyway. I’ve learned to be fashionably late for you.” She crossed the room in her stocking feet, peacock feather designs skating up her legs, to tap her bejeweled fingernail on his nose. “Go get dressed and I’ll zip you up.”

“Why are you guys always dressed in some sort of animal motif?” Jun asked, staying very still as his coach glued a line of purple stones along the top of his eyebrow.

“Why are you guys always so boring?” Riisa retorted. “You look like a gay Ralph Lauren store half the time.”

Ohno laughed quietly, soft chuffles that didn’t dislodge his own coach from gently placing a blue stone on the outer corner of his eye.

“I have taste and dignity,” Jun replied, pursing his lips.

“So do we!” Aiba announced, still wrestling with his sheer white suit. There was a massive rhinestone peacock face studded on his torso. “I’m an albino peacock.”

“Of course you are,” Jun said with a sigh, closing his eyes.

\-----

Nino wasn’t taking part in the pair skating competition since Sho was out, which left only Aiba, Ohno, and Jun. It was the first year Ohno and Jun didn’t have direct competition from Nino and Sho, and it made Jun feel a little pang of sadness when they weren’t sitting next to them in the team stands. Aiba and Riisa were there, but he missed the anxiety and adrenaline that came from being direct competitors.

“I miss him,” Ohno said quietly, his hands resting on his thighs. Jun was wearing gloves to shield his hands against the cold of the rink, but Ohno wasn’t, and his hands were turning red from the temperature. Jun reached for both of Ohno’s hands.

“I wonder what Nino’s up to on his own,” Jun murmured, rubbing Ohno’s palms with his fingertips. “He had more time to focus on his own routine without Sho-kun. He might win.”

“That would be nice for Nino,” Ohno said with a nod, “but not nice for Sho-chan, maybe.”

Jun groaned. “He’ll definitely take it as a sign that he’s not needed or something. He’s so stupid!” 

Ohno leaned his head against Jun’s. “Or maybe he’ll take it as a sign that he needs to work harder to come back.”

“He’s dumb that way, too,” Jun agreed.

Aiba and Riisa were up, and they skated to the center of the rink together holding hands. Everyone who knew them knew they weren’t a couple (Aiba liked _everyone_ , and Riisa didn’t bat for the straight team), but their chemistry on the ice made many of their fans believe that the two of them were going to get married.

“Didn’t he say they were going to wear crowns?” Jun whispered as the music started; it was the same Thai song that Jun had heard for the past few weeks muffled through Aiba’s door.

“Now they’re peacocks,” Ohno said with a grin, watching as Aiba and Riisa worked their magic. 

“Are peacocks Thai?” Jun questioned, his eyes never leaving Aiba’s form as he and Riisa spun together in simultaneous double axels.

“If they’re not, they are now,” Ohno responded, squeezing Jun’s hands.

Aiba and Riisa left the ice holding hands as well, and Jun could see how tightly they held onto each other as they hobbled on their skates towards the kiss and cry area. “MatsuJun!” Aiba yelled, still holding onto his skate guards he waved the hand not clasped with Riisa’s in the air. “Did you see us? Was it good?”

Jun couldn’t help but smile. “It was good, Aiba-chan. You guys did great.”

Aiba and Riisa were in the middle of the pack, placing first of their category so far. They gave each other a massive bear hug when the scores were announced, then made their way back to where the team was sitting.

“I liked when Riisa-chan revealed her peacock wings,” Ohno mumbled, leaning over to touch the back of Riisa’s sweater where the feathers made a bulge in the fabric. “Were they hidden there?”

“Yes and no,” Riisa responded. “They were tied to me in a bundle, and when we hugged in the middle of the song, Aiba-chan pulled the ribbon so they spread out.”

“Genius,” Ohno breathed, and Jun laughed.

The results of the pair skating were out before the male duo skaters, and Aiba and Riisa came in fourth. Aiba grinned happily, while Riisa clapped her hands with a squeal as the winners took their lap. “They deserved it,” Aiba said with a shrug. “We’ll work harder next time.”

Ohno and Jun took their time getting ready since they were third to go in the last group of male duo skaters. By the time their makeup was done, the right half of Jun’s face was done to look like purple fire, and the left half of Ohno’s face like blue water. 

Whenever they waited on stand-by, Ohno always got very quiet and very still. It was part of his routine to get himself hyped up; he never gave anything less than 100% once on the ice. Jun was different: Jun fidgeted with his skates and his sleeves and he closed his eyes and gave himself a pep talk.

But once they were on the ice, facing each other, and the first few notes of the piano song he had chosen played, he felt a complete serenity take over him. He knew, looking at Ohno’s matching expression of peace, that they had their routine down perfectly. It was time to perform.

Jun felt a little more nervous than usual; without Sho and Nino competing, there was more pressure on him and Ohno to bring home a prize to boost all their spirits. He was jittery in the kiss and cry, despite Ohno’s reassuring hand on his knee. He didn’t have to; they came in first so far. Only two skaters to go to know whether they’d gotten the top prize.

“You guys are always so tasteful,” Riisa complained after Jun and Ohno made their way back to the team box. “You just needed the ribbons and you’d have been doing rhythmic gymnastics instead.”

“MatsuJun tried to get us to use ribbons once,” Ohno replied, face screwed up in concentration as he uncapped his water bottle, “but we weren’t allowed. It’s dangerous.”

“It’s the first time none of us are competing directly for the paired skating competitions,” Aiba noted, scratching his ankle. Both he and Riisa had changed into more comfortable clothing after their category finished. He preferred to wear ankle-length pants even at an ice skating rink, though Jun could see that his shoes were lined with sheepskin. Some of the glitter from his costume had rubbed off onto his skin and it glinted as he moved. 

“It’s good for Jun-pon that I’m not competing with you guys,” Nino said, appearing behind them. “Usually he gets really mad that we beat him.”

“Shut the hell up and sit down,” Jun said with no heat in his voice while Aiba exclaimed, “Nino! Where have you been?”

“I was watching in the stands, jerk. No point in me sitting around here and making you nervous.” Nino smirked and clapped Aiba and Jun on the back. “You guys were in the last group, so the results for today are going to be announced in a few. Nervous?”

“MatsuJun’s always nervous, right?” Aiba said with a warm smile, nudging Jun in the side. Jun was watching the judges, however, biting his lip pensively.

He didn’t hear the rest of the chatter that passed between Aiba, Nino, Riisa, with occasional murmurs from Ohno as the final skaters performed – he never did during the last skate. They were still first, and this pair was all that stood between them and the gold.

He was gripping the fabric of his sweats so tightly his knuckles were white as the pair made their way to the kiss and cry.

“It’s time,” Nino whispered into his ear, irritating him enough that Jun swatted at him over his shoulder. 

The main judge announced the scores after a waiting period that seemed like forever to Jun, and it took him a moment to register that they won. 

Aiba yelled his jubilation in Jun’s ear, and he was yanked up for a hug by Riisa. “Good job, you guys,” Nino said with a grin, but Jun detangled himself from Riisa and went straight for Ohno. They hugged for a long time, Jun burying his face in Ohno’s shoulder.

“He always cries,” Ohno said with a small smile as he patted the back of Jun’s head.

\-----

“How do you think it would have changed if Sho-kun had been there?” Jun asked quietly later that night when they were piled in Aiba’s room with beers and pizza.

“You would have been second because we would’ve placed first,” Nino said easily, nursing a beer and lounging on most of Aiba’s pillows.

“No, but _really_ ,” Jun insisted from his perch on Aiba’s desk. “What was your routine like? I know Sho-kun isn’t always confident until about a week before competition. Did he like it? Do you _really_ believe you were going to place first?”

“Does it matter?” Nino snapped, placing his beer on Aiba’s bedside table. “He wasn’t there. You placed, we weren’t able to compete. Shit happens.”

“I think MatsuJun is just worried about Sho-kun,” Ohno murmured around a mouthful of anchovy and pineapple pizza. “Do you think he watched today?”

“He said he wasn’t going to,” Aiba said, looking down at his lap from his cross-legged position on the floor.

“You spoke to him?” Nino asked, glancing over at him. No one had heard from Sho after he’d left, with the exception of a single group text to let them know that he had arrived safely in Gunma and would be turning his phone off in order to focus on recuperation.

“We e-mail sometimes…well, I e-mail him and he responds to every fifth or something.” Aiba shrugged, leaning until his back hit the side of the bed. “He said he only responds to me because he knows I wouldn’t leave him alone even if he ignored me, and he’s right.”

“He’s so stubborn,” Jun growled, crumpling his empty can. “He’s not going to get better hiding from it.”

“He just needs time,” Ohno replied, cutting a long string of cheese that was connecting the slice in his hand to the rest of the pie. “He’ll come back soon, MatsuJun.”

“Yeah!” Aiba said, thrusting his can in the air and spilling beer all over himself. “We’ll be back together in no time!”

Jun sighed and picked up a new can from the pack sitting next to him. “I hope so.”

\-----

Jun couldn’t help but feel a pang when Riisa sat next to them where Sho normally would have been. Nino was the first up out of their group, and he leaned over to her with his lips pursed. “Let’s see how he embarrasses us this time,” he said.

“That is more of Nino than I think the audience ever wanted to see,” Aiba started laughing and pointing as Nino skated onto the ice in a skintight black suit. Strips across his collarbones, shoulder blades, and waist were jaggedly ripped away and covered with netting to give the illusion that he’d been in a battle. He’d let his hair fall in his eyes in a way that had always made Jun bitch about him needing a haircut. He stayed in the center of the rink with a smirk until the music started.

It was the bass of a parapara song. “I hate him,” Jun buried his face in his hands.

“I didn’t know you could parapara and ice skate at the same time,” Riisa said, her voice full of awe, as Nino skillfully completed a triple axel and skated into his next move on the beat.

“Nino has a lot of surprising skills,” Ohno said, his eyes crinkled up with laughter.

“Did you like it?” Nino’s cocky tone of voice when he joined them after the kiss and cry made Jun want to hit him. Aiba had said his goodbyes halfway through Nino’s routine, and was preparing to skate after the Russian skater that followed Nino. Jun raised his eyebrow as he watched Aiba receive a pep talk from his coach half a rink away.

“You’re such a little weirdo,” Riisa squealed, poking Nino in the side repeatedly. He batted at her hands and sat on Ohno’s lap. 

“I think the weird one is over there,” Jun interrupted, pointing at Aiba. Aiba was pretty well-known for oddball routines and costumes, but when he had been sitting with them just moments ago, he wasn’t wearing foam shorts that looked like he was growing out of half of a peach.

“Aiba-chan likes the Momotaro story a lot,” Ohno said, just as a catchy pop rendition of “Momotaro no Uta” began to play.

“He is actually acting out Momotaro,” Jun said in awe as Aiba began to move. Nino had his face buried in his arms, leaning against Ohno’s shoulder.

“What a good idea!” Riisa said, waving furiously at Aiba as he skated by. “Maybe next time we can do Frankenstein together!”

“You already are Frankenstein,” Nino retorted, finally lifting his head from the safety of Ohno’s shoulder. “At least he’s having fun.”

“Aiba-chan always has fun,” Ohno said, laughing quietly at Aiba mouthing the words to the song while patting the fake millet dumplings hanging from his belt. Throughout his skate he stumbled once or twice, but when he finished his routine he posed happily as though it had gone perfect. Jun felt warm watching Aiba smile at the audience and at the judges – Aiba was consistently sloppy on the ice, his limbs going everywhere because of a lack of control and too much energy, but he shone so brightly Jun imagined he could melt the ice beneath his skates. 

“I’m going after the next person,” Ohno said, tapping Nino on his outer thighs. “I have to go get dressed.”

“Don’t imitate the Dead Sea. Pretend you’re the Bermuda Triangle and eat up all the competition except for me,” Nino advised before getting up to let Ohno stand.

“Do your best,” Jun told Ohno, who nodded and sauntered away. Aiba clumsily ran over to them from the kiss and cry after receiving his scores.

“Did you like it?” Aiba asked excitedly, his peach shorts already falling off of his skinny hips. “I had a lot of fun with it!”

“We could tell, peach boy,” Nino rolled his eyes, tugging on the shorts. “What happened to dignity on the ice during professional competitions?”

“You killed dignity when you went out there,” Riisa shot back, standing up to give Aiba a bear hug. “Why didn’t you tell me you were doing storylines? We have to do a horror one next time!”

Aiba glanced at Jun over Riisa’s shoulders, his eyes already wide with fear. “Save me,” he mouthed.

“How about we wait for Oh-chan to go on?” Jun said helpfully, his hands on Riisa’s shoulders. “We can talk about our routines for the next competition later, after we’re done with this one.”

“Why, Matsumoto,” Riisa said as she let go of Aiba, “I thought you planned out all your routines as part of your New Year’s festivities.”

“He does,” Nino said, kicking his heels against the floor. “He has a large binder for every year. There are costume swatches and CDs and everything.”

“You can shut the hell up,” Jun said pleasantly as he took his seat.

The Russian skater going before Ohno did well enough, but Jun watched him with a critical eye. His turns were sloppy and he winced every time he made a mistake, which made his errors more obvious.

Ohno’s solo skating routines tended to be very similar to each other. He favored costumes that looked like casual-wear suits, with subtle sparkly accents and unbuttoned collars that showed off his neckline. His routines were always more inspired by modern interpretive dance and pop-lock breakdancers than the usual ballet or gymnastics that his coach always implored him to consider when choreographing.

To Jun, Ohno’s skating always felt like it took a backseat to his dancing. He executed turns beautifully, but he used only the bare minimum of combinations and told a story with his body instead. It was completely different from the way Jun worked. 

As a solo skater, Jun felt a little more secure in his skin than in pair skating. He loved working with Ohno and the opportunity for creativity that he only got from being able to work with someone else, but as a solo skater, he relied only on himself and his body. 

Jun had always pushed himself to the limit when it came to techniques. He learned the easier jumps only as a matter of course, but he focused on the most difficult maneuvers he could. He and his coach came up with choreography that challenged him both body and soul, and it pushed him to demand more of himself than he was willing to ask of Ohno. 

Jun’s routine, set to a Russian classical pianist, went off without a hitch. Jun basked in the gasps as he pulled off a perfect quad toe loop that went into triple axel.

The new rule of allowing skaters to compete in both pair and solo skate had created a problem for scoring; because most competitions had multiple events in one day, it was too much to ask for a skater to skate two separate routines in 12 hours. The International Skating Union had decided to substitute the free skate with the pair skate by taking the scores of the pair skate and using the average of what the same rank would be grouped in with the solo skaters. It had been a controversial decision, but one that was working well enough for them – Jun placed first.

“Congratulations, Jun-kun,” Nino congratulated him later, clasping him on the shoulder once Jun came off the podium with his gold medal in hand.

“Thanks, Nino,” Jun replied, fingering the ribbon around his neck with the hand that wasn’t holding a large bouquet. “Sorry you didn’t place.”

“It’s weird without Sho-chan, you know?” Nino commented, beginning to walk back towards the dressing room. “Even though my solo routine has nothing to do with him, somehow training without him makes my solo work a little less…I don’t know. Interesting?”

“You did fucking parapara, Ninomiya, what do you mean by interesting?” Jun stared at Nino’s back as he walked ahead of him.

“Yeah, but I _only_ did parapara. I didn’t have anyone to banter with or to discuss anything else and I didn’t get a change of pace in rehearsal. It was parapara for weeks, Jun.” Nino glanced back at him with an eye roll. “Do you know how sick of parapara I am right now? Working with Sho-chan gives me a mental break from my solo routine.” Nino was still talking when they entered their dressing room, Aiba, Ohno, and their coaches already packing up their things.

“You should tell him that,” Ohno said seriously, looking up at Nino when they walked in. “I think Sho-chan needs to hear that right now.”

“Sho-chan thinks he’s useless, you know?” Aiba said, struggling to put the peach shorts back in a box that looked too small for them. “He thinks we don’t need him and that you’ll do just fine without him. Nino, you should talk to him. You too, MatsuJun.”

“Why me?” Jun demanded, placing his bouquet on an empty table.

“Because Sho-chan loves you most out of all of us,” Ohno replied simply.

“He does not,” Jun groaned, rearranging his bag to properly put away his skates.

“He does and that’s okay,” Nino said with a shrug, sitting on top of his dressing table instead of beginning to clean up his area. “It’s not like he doesn’t love us at all.”

“You’re so loveable, MatsuJun!” Aiba said with his crinkly-eyed grin. “Sho-chan has good taste.”

“Fine, I’ll go talk to him,” Jun said crabbily, his cheeks faintly pink. 

\-----

“How did you get your coach to lend you his car? Mine won’t ever,” Jun grumbled as he shoved his bag into the backseat of the car. It was a bright Saturday morning, and he had a beanie pulled low on his head and his huge sunglasses on. He slid into the passenger’s seat, immediately pulling down the sun visor to block the light from his face.

“You also crashed Aiba’s new car ten minutes into a drive,” Nino shot back, adjusting the mirrors before turning on the engine. “I, however, am an impeccable driver.”

“Remember that time you accidentally hit a car behind you because you weren’t paying attention in the parking lot?” Jun pulled his coat around him and slumped down in the seat.

“You can’t use that against me, I was still learning how to drive! I didn’t even have my license yet.” Nino pulled out of the garage, heading towards the highway that led to Gunma. “Go back to sleep. I don’t want to hear your accusations as I drive.”

“Let me know when we get to a rest stop,” Jun said, putting his hands in his sleeves. “I want breakfast.”

“Good night, Jun-pon,” Nino sing-songed as he took a right turn.

The town Sho’s grandparents lived in was a little over two hours away, and Jun woke up when they were a little over halfway there. Gone were the skyscrapers and neon lights of Tokyo, replaced by fields and mountains. The trees lining the highway were bare, holding the promise of spring in the little buds sprouting at the ends of their finger-like branches. 

“Could you live out here, Nino?” Jun asked, as they passed a series of greenhouses.

“Out in the countryside?” Nino hummed, switching songs on the car stereo. “Probably not. It’s not very convenient and I like to move as least as possible, you know that.”

“True.” The winter sun was high in the sky now, and Jun imagined what the fields looked like in the summer when everything was lush and green and alive. “I probably couldn’t, either. I want to do too much…but a summer home would be pretty nice, I bet.”

“When you marry Sho-chan, the both of you can have a cute little summer house in Gunma. We’ll visit and Aiba-chan will bring homemade cake,” Nino grinned, the sun highlighting his moles like little periods at the end of his sentences. “We can watch fireflies and light fireworks and eat hot dogs roasted on a fire.”

“That sounds really nice, actually,” Jun mused, putting his hands behind his head and turning to look at Nino. “Maybe we should have a camping trip this summer. Ohno-kun would like it, he’d be able to fish all our food.”

“Do you really want to go camping with Aiba-chan? He’ll insist on putting the tent up, so it’s only going to fly away in the middle of the night,” Nino said, his voice accusatory.

“We’ll rent a cabin,” Jun amended. 

“We’re here,” Nino announced not long afterwards, cutting the ending as they pulled front of a stately traditional Japanese house. “I know Sho-chan is loaded but sometimes it’s disgusting how much.”

“Are you ready for this talk?” Jun asked with a sigh, fixing his hat in the sun panel mirror. He tucked his sunglasses back in their case and set it on the arm rest. “You told him we’re coming, right?”

“Nope,” Nino said cheerfully, getting out of the car and closing the door before Jun could stop gaping at him.

“Why not?” Jun spluttered as he quickly got out of the car to follow Nino as he walked up to the doorbell.

“Because he would tell us not to come. You know him! He’s almost as stubborn as you are. This way he can’t turn us away. His grandmother would throw a fit because it would be rude.” Nino rang the doorbell and put on his best ‘I’m Charming’ smile. “It’s Ninomiya Kazunari and Matsumoto Jun, we’re here to see Sho-chan.”

Jun waved weakly at the intercom from behind Nino.

“Ah, I’ll let him know you’re here,” a female voice said. “Please come in.” 

The gates opened and they walked into the courtyard together. As large as it was, it wasn’t especially elaborate – there was a small garden separated into rows, currently bare because of the season, and an expanse of grass to the right side of the walkway. A very shaggy dog was asleep on the grass, his paws twitching as he dreamed.

“I’m sorry for intruding,” Nino and Jun chimed when they stepped through the front door and toed their shoes off.

“It’s wonderful to have you,” Sho’s grandmother greeted with a smile. She was a lady of small stature, but her clothes were impeccable and her hair was perfectly styled. “Sho hasn’t had many visitors. He’s up and walking again, but it does take him some time. Please wait for him in the living room.” She gestured in the direction of the room.

“We brought this,” Jun said, taking out a giftwrapped box of sweets they’d picked up before they left Tokyo. “It’s nothing much, but we hope you enjoy it.”

“Oh! That’s wonderful,” she said happily, taking the box with a slight bow. “Please sit down and I’ll make tea.” They followed her through multiple rooms, past framed family photos, until they reached an elegantly decorated living room. 

“Make yourselves comfortable, and I’ll be right back,” she gestured to the large leather sofa before bustling out of the room.

“This looks just like his living room in Tokyo,” Nino said in a low voice as they glanced around. One wall was actually a sliding door that led onto a traditional veranda. There was a large chestnut tansu chest against the wall opposite of the veranda, covered in various trophies and family photos.

“Hi,” Sho said, finally appearing in the doorway. He had a cane to support himself as he walked, his pace slow.

“It’s been a while, Sho-kun,” Jun said, standing up to make room for him on the couch. Instead Sho headed for an armchair, and Jun sat back down, biting his lip.

“You’ve been busy,” Sho acknowledged as he sat down gingerly. “Winning medals and stuff.”

Jun ducked his head as Nino shrugged. “No medals for me, Sho-chan,” he said as he stretched nonchalantly. “You’d think parapara music would give me the automatic gold, but I guess I have to actually try for that.”

“You should’ve seen it,” Jun laughed, pointing at Nino with his thumb. “I thought Ohno-kun was going to die, he was laughing so hard.”

Sho nodded slowly, shifting in his seat. He said nothing, but Jun saw him glance at the trophies sitting on top of the tansu.

“When are you coming back to Tokyo?” Jun let the words tumble out of his mouth. “We really miss you. The house isn’t the same. Aiba-chan keeps whining about how much he wants you back and every time it’s Ohno-kun’s turn for dinner, he keeps buying five portions out of habit.”

Sho shrugged, playing with the cane by rolling it between his hands. “You saw me. I can’t even walk all that well yet.”

“But you’re walking,” Nino pointed out. “You can go through rehab in Tokyo, with your coaches and with us. We can help you.”

“I’m only going to slow you down,” Sho shot back, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth tight with anger. “I won’t be able to get on the ice any time soon.”

“Who cares about whether or not you’re skate-ready?” Jun replied, voice exasperated and nostrils flaring. “We want you with us.”

“I can’t place without you,” Nino said softly, staring at Sho. He had picked up one of the couch cushions and he was gripping it tightly. “Whether or not you’re actually on the ice with me, I…it’s just not the same for me, Sho-chan.”

“Nino, that’s bullshit and you know it,” Sho snorted, leaning back in his seat. “You do just fine without me.”

“Maybe I can,” Nino retorted, tossing the cushion to the side. “But that doesn’t mean I want to. Solo skating on its own is boring and I won’t have any partner that isn’t you.”

“Why are you being so stubborn about this?” Jun asked, leaning forward with concern. “Isn’t ice skating what you love?”

“Neither of you have ever had an injury this big, and neither have the other two,” Sho pointed out. “None of you know how this feels.”

“Does that matter?” Nino stood up and moved to stand directly in front of Sho, facing him. “We can’t empathize but it’s not like you’re the first person to ever get injured in this sport. People have been injured worse than you have and they got back on the ice.”

“It’s not like you to give up,” Jun huffed, crossing his arms. “I never would have thought this would be what would make you quit.”

“You think I want to quit?” Sho yelled, shoving Nino away. “You really think I want to give up on this? I’ve been skating since I was three years old! Is this what you think I want? To be delegated to some boring desk job I hate or maybe stuck covering sports events for some news show that just wants a washed-up hasbeen to be the know-it-all so they don’t have to pay for an extra expert on the panel to explain everything to the audience?”

“You’re acting like it!” Jun roared, finally rising to his feet. “You’re whining instead of working, and this isn’t like you!”

“You have to get up eventually, Sho-chan,” Nino said, crossing the room to go stand by the porch door. “That news show is going to be your future eventually and you know it, but it’s going to be after you’ve won all your awards and skated all your shows and retired with grace. But if you’re just going to sit on this couch and whine instead of work, you’re never going to get there. You’re going to rot here in Gunma full of regrets.”

Sho crossed his arms, looking away from either of them. “Fine.”

“Fine?” Jun echoed, his jaw still set with anger.

“I kept my bag packed anyway,” Sho said. His expression was still angry, his voice low, but he slowly rose from the chair. “I’ll go back to Tokyo, but it’s for Aiba-chan and Satoshi-kun.”

“Whatever,” Nino rolled his eyes. “As long as you’re coming.”

Jun breathed out all the air he had in his lungs and sat back down as Sho made his way towards the room’s exit. “All that for nothing. You didn’t have to make me yell.”

“If you didn’t yell I would have known you didn’t actually want me to come back,” Sho threw over his shoulder before he left the room.

His grandmother came in quietly, a small smile on her face, as she placed the tea on the coffee table. “I see you boys have made up,” she sighed as she stood back up. “It’s about time he went back to Tokyo. He’s been so gloomy. He’s never really liked being in Gunma for long stretches of time, it keeps him bored.”

She paused in the threshold of the room between it and the kitchen. “Take care of him, you two. For me. He’s not very good at taking care of himself.”

They both acknowledged her with a low bow of their heads, standing up in unison as they heard Sho yell for help with his luggage.

\-----

When they got back to the house, Aiba hugged Sho tightly before manhandling him inside, babbling through a face full of tears as Nino snuck away in order to avoid helping with the luggage.

Sho really didn’t talk to either Jun or Nino for a few days after that. Aiba was hovering around Sho constantly, making it easy for Sho to ignore them. Jun let him be, still annoyed at Sho’s stubbornness and insistence on making his injury a tragedy.

But then, a full week after they’d brought Sho home, he’d shown up in Jun’s doorway one night after dinner. Aiba had gone to bed early that night after a particularly hard practice, and Jun had to blink at the sight of Sho being unaccompanied. 

“Hey,” Sho said awkwardly. He fidgeted with the door’s threshold, and Jun closed his eyes in exasperation before getting up from his desk. 

“You can come in,” Jun said, offering his rolling chair. It was ergonomic and he had thrown a cashmere blanket over it and it was Jun’s favorite thing in the world after his slippers.

“No, it’s okay, I told Satoshi-kun I would watch some fishing show with him.” Sho cleared his throat. “I just wanted to say thanks for coming to get me.”

“…You’re welcome,” Jun said. The words felt stuck in his throat. “Thank you for coming back.”

“I wasn’t going to be able to stay away forever,” Sho replied with a small smile, then let go of the doorway. “See you later.”

“Yeah,” Jun echoed, then sat down hard on his bed as Sho walked away.

\-----

A few months later, Jun headed for the rink early in the afternoon. It was late spring, and the sakura had already fallen. The smell of the rainy season was in the air.

“Hey, guys,” Jun said when he spotted Aiba and Nino in the locker room, changing into their skates.

“Sho-chan’s already out there,” Aiba said as a greeting. “He’s been out there for a while.”

“Has he taken a break?” Jun asked, setting his bag down and hanging his jacket inside his locker.

“He’s with his coach, it’s fine,” Nino shrugged, tying a towel around his head. “He’s doing better, his strides are getting longer.”

“He’ll probably be up to full speed by Asian Trophy in the summer,” Aiba shut his locker with a sunny smile.

“Complaining as usual,” Nino rolled his eyes. “He’s trying to call the shots on the routine but if he thinks I’m going to do a routine based on the Wall Street Journal, he’s wrong.”

“Hi,” Ohno came into the locker room from the shower, his hair dripping down his face. His towel was wrapped around his waist, and his shower shoes flip-flopped against the floor as he walked.

“You’re done already?” Jun asked, pretending he wasn’t staring at Ohno’s back muscles as he moved. Aiba and Nino had stopped what they were doing and were staring shamelessly.

“Yeah, I’ve been here for a few hours. Have to go to the gym for a little bit, but I want to spend tonight painting.” Ohno scratched his head before grabbing his boxers out of his locker.

“I’m gonna head to Rink 3,” Jun finally said, after silently watching Ohno get dressed. “See you guys later.”

“Byebye, MatsuJun,” Aiba waved, but Nino was busy patting Ohno’s butt “to check for defects.”

As he walked through the arena, Jun could hear Sho’s coach in Rink 1 giving Sho instructions, and Sho laughing as he skated.

Jun gripped the laces of his skates, letting them gently knock against his legs as he walked. He was going to be late to meet his coach, but he couldn’t help entering Rink 1 quietly, watching Sho on the ice. He wasn’t going as fast as he used to, but his form was still perfect, and Jun could already see him back on the winner’s podium.

“Hey, MatsuJun,” Sho said as he skated past, “let me know when you’re done so we can go home together.”

Jun nodded, waving goodbye as he left the rink. He suddenly couldn’t wait to finish his practice and head for the showers.


End file.
